Heartbreak
by Elle Winters
Summary: “Harry,” Ginny asked, looking directly into his eyes, “Do you love me?”Pain flashed through his eyes.“I can’t.”Oneshot about Harry and Ginny's encounter at Fleur and Bill's wedding and what happens Warning:Ginny has a glass of wine


DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters – they belong to JK!

Just a little one-shot, based on how Harry and Ginny are reacting to each other after they broke up. Please R/R

_Dear diary,_

_Harry broke up with me today._

_God. Just seeing it written on the page is bringing tears to my eyes. _

_Harry. Broke up. With me._

_It doesn't feel real._

_When he told me he had to, I didn't cry. I just…stared. It didn't really register at first. I heard the words, and my stomach sort of twisted, because I knew what he was saying was devastating, but the full impact of them hadn't quite sunken in at that point._

_Now though? Well, that's a different story._

_As soon as I was alone, I just…broke down. My face crumpled, and the tears fell thick and fast. I tried to muffle my sobbing to begin with, but then I thought what the hell! And cried…and cried…and cried._

_I kept…__**thinking**__…about all we'd done together, all the things we'd shared. What his lips had felt like on mine, and how a single touch from him could send shivers through my entire body._

_I'd waited so long for him to notice and want me, and when he finally did, we only got a few months together._

_I understand why he did it, but it doesn't mean I have to like it!_

_I am so ANGRY, but at the same time, I feel like I'm falling apart._

_I'm angry, because he's just cut me out of his life completely, and I have no say in that, and I don't think that's fair. No one has the right to just turn around one day, when you think - __**no, you know**__ - that everything is going fine, and just say that it has to end, full stop. There's to be no more...kissing in the rain, or…little walks around the lake, talking about stupid things, and laughing like the whole world is just the biggest and the best place ever._

_No more hugs, no more nothing._

_And I can't stand it._

_I just want to break everything in sight, destroy anything and everything to try and eradicate this huge feeling of despair that's eating away at me._

_But nothing's working._

_Only the cause can be the cure._

_There is a possibility, if Harry does manage to kill Voldermort that we will get back together._

_But that'll be months, even __**years**__ away from now. And I don't know what I'm going to do in the mean-time._

_I'm not ready to move on from him, because __**nothing went wrong**__ in our relationship; we hadn't even had a proper argument. That's what makes it harder. We were still in the 'honeymoon' stage, the point when everything is new and special, and no-one else's company can quite match up to your partner's._

_Almost immediately after he uttered those life-changing words, I saw him talking and laughing with Ron and Hermione, and I wondered,_

"_Why can't I do that with him? Why am __**I **__the one shut of his life? __**Surely **__Ron and Hermione are in danger too?!"_

_Am I really considered that weak? So weak that Harry would rather dispose of me (if only temporarily) rather than keep me at his side as someone who can help and advise him when times get really hard?_

_I would do and give anything to Harry, and no matter how far away he pushed me, I would always come back, totally willing and completely able to help him._

_Why can't he see that?_

Two months later…

"I now pronounce you husband and wife – you may kiss the bride!"

A huge cheer erupted as Bill Weasley and Fleur Weasley (nee Delacour) leant into kiss one another, Fleur resplendent in white silk wedding robes and Bill looking handsome in his grooms-robes.

Harry Potter clapped along with the thirty-strong wedding guests, and couldn't help but glance over at Ginny Weasley, who looked gorgeous in light gold dress robes. Her hair, which had silver roses braided into it, whipped around her face in the wind, but she did not seem to care. Her face was a picture of pure joy, mirrored by the rest of the Weasley clan, who were stood a little way behind her, jumping up and down in excitement, Fred and George wolf-whistling as Bill and Fleur's lips met. The couple were suddenly bathed in a pure white light, and their wedding rings glowed. They were now officially bound to one another. Harry loved this part of Wizarding weddings. His smile faded as he realised that the one person he would love to spend the rest of his life with was the person he had to keep the furthest away from him. Harry loved Ginny Weasley, but he knew that having her with him would only increase the already huge peril he and his friends were in, and he didn't want to give Voldermort any more ammunition to use against him. That…_creature _had already deprived him of his parents, godfather, and his guide. He had made sure that Harry was as alone as he could possibly be, and Harry would not give him the satisfaction of giving him the opportunity to murder the girl that he loved too.

Harry saw Ginny turn, and suddenly she was looking straight at him. Their eyes connected, and he saw a look of anger flash through her eyes. Next minute she blinked and turned away, smiling and laughing with her newly-wed brother. Harry sighed.

Ginny hated him.

Ginny grabbed another glass of wine off of the tray the passing waiter was carrying. She sipped it delicately, and scanned the room, taking in the laughing guests around her.

There was Luna, doing the Conga whilst everyone else was doing a slow waltz, a bemused Neville trailing in her wake.

Fred and George were up to their usual tricks and were switching the canapés with afropanés, which, when eaten, caused the consumer to grow a huge afro in a violent shade of pink, orange, or purple. Ginny couldn't help but snigger when she saw Cornelius Fudge go over to the table and put one on his plate.

Bill and Fleur were busy socialising with guests, although Fleur looked distinctly uncomfortable at talking to one of Bill's rather drunk uncles, who looked as though he was going to throw up at any minute – Fleur was probably concerned her gorgeous robes were going to get covered in vomit.

Mr and Mrs Weasley were waltzing slowly around the room, looking completely at peace with the world, and Ron and Hermione were squabbling over some trivial detail as usual.

Ginny's eyes were drawn to Harry, who had just entered the room, and had sat down next to Angelina Johnson, who looked slightly the worse for wear.

She unconsciously narrowed her eyes, and at that moment Harry looked up and saw her staring at him. Ginny continued to stare at him, and then looked at Angelina who had just puked up everywhere. Alicia Spinnet ran to her side, and, aided by Harry, managed to drag Angelina up and out of the room to the girls' bathroom. Ginny watched them leave, and was then distracted by Luna grabbing her arm and pulling into the now twenty-strong conga line that was circling the room. Ginny laughed and let herself get caught up in the motion.

Two hours later Ginny was returning from the toilet when she bumped into Harry.

"Oh, sorry!"

"Sorry!"

They both looked at each other and an awkward silence ensued. Ginny cleared her throat.

"So, uh, how're you?"

"I've been better," Harry replied quietly.

Ginny frowned.

"Why's that?"

Harry scuffed his shoes on the floor, "Guess I didn't realise quite how hard it was gonna be to bring Voldermort down."

A beacon of hope flared suddenly in Ginny's stomach.

"I could help you!"

Harry shook his head, "No Gin."

Ginny's faced reddened.

"Why not?!" She asked angrily, "I'm no better or worse than Ron or Hermione! So what if I'm a year younger – I have just as much to offer you as anyone else does! Plus I'm loyal and hard working, and I _want _to help you!"

Harry stared at her.

"Gin, please don't-" He began but she cut him off.

"No Harry! Don't treat me like I'm a child! God Harry, you can be so egotistical sometimes! You think that 'oooh because Voldermort came after me as a baby, I couldn't possibly accept help from a lowly sixth year that hasn't _any_ idea what Voldermort's power's like!' Well, newsflash Harry – I do know what he's like! He possessed me, and I want revenge too. Don't think you can do this all alone – you can't. Yeah you have Ron and Hermione to help you, but surely the more people you have to help you do whatever it is you have to do to defeat Voldermort the better! Or maybe you believe that it would be too much of a burden on yourself to be responsible for all those lives. Well, hate to break it to you Harry, but you're not the be-all and end-all of everything – people can take responsibility for their own lives! Stop shutting people out – let them in and you'll break free of that dark shell you've been living under since Dumbledore di-"

"Just for the record Gin," Harry cut in, "I'm happy to stand here and have you insult me for awhile, but I hope you realise you're not making a difference."

Ginny glowered at him.

"Whatever," She replied icily, "And just for your 'record', I wasn't trying to insult you."

Harry raised an eyebrow.

"You're not trying hard enough then."

Ginny looked at him confused.

"Huh?"

"You'll work it out," He said coldly, turning away from her as he started to walk back towards the party.

"Hey wait!" She exclaimed angrily, "What do you mean, 'you're not trying hard enough then'? I said I _wasn't_ trying to insult you!"

"I know you did," Said Harry, turning back to face her.

"Then that doesn't make any sense!" She cried, shaking her head.

"Yes it does," Replied Harry simply, "You said you weren't trying to insult me so I said you were not trying hard enough - perfect sense. Don't worry I've checked its credibility, you can trust my judgment."

Ginny frowned, trying to work out what he meant, and then realisation hit her.

"I wasn't trying hard enough _not _to insult you," She stated softly.

"Correct," Harry said, nodding his head.

"Oh," Said Ginny weakly, "I didn't realise I _could _insult you."

"It's very easy to insult me, Gin."

Ginny narrowed her eyes at this.

"It used to be," She responded bitterly, "But ever since Dumbledore died you've just seemed like an empty shell. You didn't even react when that guy in Diagon Alley called Hermione a mud-blood!"

"I did," Harry said quietly, "I followed him later and hexed him."

"Oh," Ginny faltered, surprised at this revelation, "I didn't know."

"I know you didn't."

Ginny felt immensely guilty.

"Harry I'm really sorry. I honestly didn't mean to hurt you. I just…wanted to give you a good kick up the back-side, get you to see that I'm valuable to you!"

Harry looked down at his feet and frowned.

"You didn't give me so much as a kick-up the back-side as a sense of confusion. I try so hard to be nice to you, because I really do like you, but you say all these things and I get the feeling that you hate me, which is fair enough, but I'd rather you just told me, and then I'll stop interfering in your life and you can be happy."

Ginny's eyes widened in shock at this statement.

"I, I don't hate you!" She stammered in a stunned voice, "Not at all!"

She felt tears prick her eyes, and blinked furiously.

"I was trying to _help_ you! Why on earth would I _hate_ you?!"

Harry looked up at her.

"You have plenty of reasons to hate me," He replied sadly.

Ginny mouthed soundlessly at him.

"Wha…how…" She spluttered.

She shook her head.

"Harry," She said firmly, "You broke up with me – so what? Loads of people do it! That doesn't mean I hate you! Hand on heart Harry; I honestly do not hate you."

Harry nodded, and turned around to leave again.

Ginny's hand flew out and grabbed his shoulder, spinning him around.

He was surprised at the furious look that covered her entire face.

"Harry don't walk away from me - I'm completely shocked! When did I ever give you the impression I hated you?!"

Harry sighed, and looked away.

"Earlier," He said, "You kept giving me the evil look, even when I was sat there trying to help Angelina when she was sick. I really did feel contempt from you."

Ginny stared at him.

"Ok, one, if there was any contempt, then it wasn't from hate it was from jealousy and longing, because you were paying her so much attention and you weren't paying me any. And two," She added angrily, "Yes, now that I think about it, I probably did give you the evil, but only because I wanted your attention and the only way I ever get it is when I initiate it!"

"I'm sorry," Replied Harry quietly, "But whatever you were feeling towards me felt very icy, which I can't cope with. I can't deal with you hating me Gin."

"And I don't," Responded Ginny softly, "Like I said, I just wanted you to see that I was of use to me, and help you get back to your normal-self, not this grieving, guilty young man I see in front of me."

Harry smiled.

"Well just so you know the WORST way to help me is make me feel contempt from you. It'll just make me feel even worse."

"I honestly didn't know my emotions were so crystal clear," Said Ginny placing a hand on Harry's arm.

He glanced at it, and then looked straight at her.

"It's ok. Now, maybe we should return to the party…"

"Harry," Ginny interrupted, "Just tell me this: why can't I come with you?"

"Because I can't watch you die, Ginny," Harry said, his voice cracking.

"You don't have to look after me Harry! Please…Harry, I, I love you…"

Harry stared at her.

"Ginny…I…I can't do this…"

"Harry if I were to kiss you…would you feel anything?"

"I wouldn't let myself."

Ginny opened her mouth, stunned.

"But why not?!"

"Because I know that if I let myself feel anything, I wouldn't be able to let you go."

"Harry," Ginny asked, looking directly into his eyes, "Do you love me."

Pain flashed through his eyes.

"I can't."

Ginny blinked, and felt tears start falling from her eyes.

She spun around and ran down the corridor, trying fiercely to stop the stream of the tears that was cascading down her face.

"I'm sorry, Gin!" Harry called after her, watching her go, misery and sorrow tugging at his heart.

"I love you," He whispered, "That's why I've got to let you go."

_No more fighting_

_No more lightning_

_No more love letters_

_To make you feel better_

_No rain to wash away the loneliness_

_No sunshine to dry up your tears_

_No apologies_

_No loving_

_No remedies_

_To clear this_

_Pain you're feeling_

_There's no healing_

_Not a little ray of hope_

_Shining down on you_

_You can feel life_

_Pulling you down_

_You want it stop_

_But you can't stop slipping_

_Down this muddy road_

_You've got to scream_

_Not take in this scene_

_Close your eyes_

_And fantasise_

_That nothing's going wrong_

_That it's alright_

_And you're not alone_

_All alone_

_On your own_

_Scream all you want_

_You're not gonna get out of here_

_This place is dark and dank_

_Not a place you wanna land_

_When you can't turn back_


End file.
